I see tons of these list every day. It’s all titled something like “Things Girls Do That Guys Don’t Know About” or vice versa. It’s quite stupid. I save them in a file to revisit when I don’t have a head ache because it ultimately will give me one. I’m not going to preface this with much because I’m just mailing it in tonight.
Holy shit, you guys. I was not going to write anything today. I wanted to watch Training Day, write some mean jokes about my friends and just relax before I hit the road to do comedy with Mike Keegan, Terry McNeely and George Gallo. We will be in Bristol, PA at The Comedy Works this weekend. Come down for a laugh!
Today, I saw this article:
Seriously, you guys…I don’t think I’ve [literally] ever come across a crazier, more psychopathic, delusional article. Is it me or is that article’s title missing a preposition? Whatever. This article is personalized and everything. This writer for the Elite Daily (of course it is the Elite Daily…because who else?) has lost her god damn mind because a guy didn’t return her text. We have to discuss this. We just have to.
Here is my unsolicited apology. I have been ignoring the blog. Life gets in the way, guys. I don’t like to force the writing for this website. No one pays me for this shit. I do it because I like it. I don’t want my writing to come off like a contrived job. I have more respect for myself and you. I also wanted to see how much traffic that the site draws on its own without posting to Facebook and Twitter every day. I am satisfied with how well this blog actually does.
So what have I been up to? Making awful mistakes in my personal life, wearing pink shirts, performing stand up comedy, doing photo shoots (more information to come upon the website’s release) and doing all of the internet operations for Get Involved Comedy (big things coming in the next few months). I’ve been a busy little Hughbear. There was no purpose to any of that other than just to brag, but whatever.
Take the jump to hear a solid rant!
Let’s get this straight. I’m not marrying any man. Pun not really intended? I took the headline from the main article. If you couldn’t tell, I’m back to reading articles from this site called the Elite Daily. They drive me crazy. This article was written by another female, the article is entitled The Difference Between The Man You Marry and The Men You Hook Up With. It came across my Facebook feed. Obviously, some poor girl who gets used and abused like a Siamese fuck doll probably posted this on her stupid wall to let her Facebook friends know that she is smart enough to tell the difference between the two types of gentlemen the article describes. I don’t remember where I saw it but you have to be retarded to resonate with this. You have to be an even bigger retard if you do not know the difference between marriage material and a one night stand.
So let’s get right into it after the jump:
I’ve had a few conversations with friends about relationships over the last few days and it’s reminded me about my blog and how much I miss writing about them. I know it’s stupid but this is the self titled post, I like when bands do that. So there. This is what we are all about here. And by we, I mean me. And by here, I mean this website. Oh, you already knew? Now I feel silly. We’re talking about love, people.
I think relationships are the most interesting thing on the planet. They are one of the most important parts of a person’s life, they control a lot of the thought patterns that people tend to use and sometimes people let these self-fulfilling prophecies rule their lives. A self-fulfilling prophecy is, for example, when someone says “I’m going to die alone.” Well, of course you are. Who wants to date someone that thinks that? However, if you never said that you were going to die alone to just about every ear that would listen then maybe you would find someone that you could die next to? Isn’t that what you wanted? It sounds creepy when you put it like that..
Follow me to the jump:
I’m terrible at opening things up, I just feel the need to apologize that I’m not writing every day. On the other hand, no one is sending me money… So really, there is no one to apologize to.
I was explaining to a friend that I don’t write every day because I’m trying to write every post from the heart. It takes a lot out of you and sometimes, it’s just not there. He said it sounded “Artistic” and “Gay.” But if I’m not that, then what am I?
The other day my friend Nick posted this story to his Facebook feed entitled “Are We All Just Looking For Someone That Doesn’t Exist?”
I’m going to break this article down into nothingness in defense of love and finding that perfect person. Maybe because I’m a romantic. And a hopeless one at that. And artistic and gay. I’m a lot of things, apparently. However, I am right. You don’t have to settle and if you don’t, you won’t die alone. This is what I scream in the shower every night.
And hey, look! I used some italics instead of capitalizing the words I’m stressing. I must be some kind of fancy writer. Follow me to the jump and let’s take this issue deep. Something your mother can relate to.