That flower can talk!
Reading an article from my friends at UPROXX (click for source), I stumbled upon the most annoying person in the world. This post might send you into orbit. I know I bash women for being crazy on this website, so to be fair I will rip this guy a new asshole because he is a gigantic douche. This guy has a list of “Deal breakers” and they are all ridiculous. He must be forever alone because there is no way he found someone who follows all of these rules. Also, the list is quite long. Long and annoying. Is there a penis reference there? Ah, whatever it’s late.
If you don’t know what a deal breaker is, I will explain. A deal breaker is a non-negotiable aspect of a relationship in which you will not budge or compromise on. For some people it could be smoking. They will not date a smoker. I will say that this guy is a little more specific than this. More after the jump.
I replied to a casting call for a television show. It’s about the NYC dating scene. They asked me to send in a video describing myself. They wanted me to super bubbly and excited for 15 minutes. I sent them 8 minutes of this. I think I covered all the non-negotiables. I know it’s long but I think you’ll enjoy it.
(Editor’s Note: With the success of Mike Keegan’s post reviewing e-Harmony, I reached out to some other comics and asked them to write about what they know. My friend Adam Parsons had children at an early age and then had to rejoin the dating world. With his unique situation, he shared his experience with O:L. So once again, sit back and take in a different writer for a change. Of course, I will be chiming in from time to time so enjoy!)
HDM4: Kids. Yuck.
There are only two people in your life you should lie to… the police and your wife.
Okay, so maybe this quote wasn’t the best way to open up an article about dating. Certainly not one about dating and having children but I feel as if it should be shared so there it is. Mr. Murray (Editor’s Note: Mr. Murray or Hughybear if you nasty) has asked me to assist him with his website about the tales of dating whilst having offspring and I happily obliged. Mostly because I’m aware that if I didn’t write anything, he would write mean things about me on Twitter. So, here it goes…
Personally, I have ignored internet dating for too long. I recently signed up to Plenty of Fish only a few months ago and other than a quick stint on Adult Friend Finder, I haven’t really experimented with this virtual phenomena.
Internet dating is a beautiful thing. The people that have been using it correctly have been hooking up and getting married for years now. These guys like that eHarmony fella is making bank and has done more commercials than 90% of the working actors that I know. I have also heard that people have been getting relationships and married off of POF. To me, that’s like being taught algebra in Mandarin. It does not make sense.
Let’s get this part over with so we can start with some pictures and jokes. This next segment was brought to you by House of Pain..
I have just started internet dating and truth be told it hasn’t worked out that great. I’m on Plenty of Fish which is a free site. I’ve been on maybe 5-6 dates in the 5 months that I’ve been on the site. Most of the girls that are there are just there for the confidence booster that comes with guys messaging them and complimenting them. They just like seeing that guys are paying attention to them. For Serious. It’s like they have two facebooks. Those are the girls that have like 2,000 friends on FB and double the pictures. Mostly of her in front of some shitty “Flood the Club!” back drop with a dude that calls himself T-Sizzle.
On the flip side, guys can get pretty pathetic and desperate on dating sites. I have some great examples on what NOT to do after the jump. (If you have stuff like this, go right ahead and send it to me via email Logic1147 at gmail dot com or twitpic it to @THElogic). Also, these weren’t sent to me. These were sent to a real life girl.