“Honey, does this jacket go with my delusions?”
Holy shit, you guys. I was not going to write anything today. I wanted to watch Training Day, write some mean jokes about my friends and just relax before I hit the road to do comedy with Mike Keegan, Terry McNeely and George Gallo. We will be in Bristol, PA at The Comedy Works this weekend. Come down for a laugh!
Today, I saw this article:
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GUY WHO FELL OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH, AND EVERY BOY LIKE HIM
Seriously, you guys…I don’t think I’ve [literally] ever come across a crazier, more psychopathic, delusional article. Is it me or is that article’s title missing a preposition? Whatever. This article is personalized and everything. This writer for the Elite Daily (of course it is the Elite Daily…because who else?) has lost her god damn mind because a guy didn’t return her text. We have to discuss this. We just have to.
Sad lil fella.
I spoke about this once before. Dealing with depression can be a lifelong battle. If not for you, then maybe someone you know and love. It’s a serious thing and often people are being discredited by someone calling them something like a pussy or over-sensitive. I can agree that sometimes people are hyper-sensitive sissies but you have to admit that there is such thing as life-crippling depression. Okay? Deal? Deal.
The counter argument to mental illness is that most of these mental illnesses are recently new. And follow me on this because I would agree with some of these people ranting about mental illness because modern medicine has recently had the luxury to spend more time on the brain and how it works thus giving titles to diseases that were once dismissed as witchcraft or demon possession. Yeah, there were no people with depression or ADHD in the 1600’s because those people were given full lobotomies, left to die of starvation in their beds or cooked in their front yards by a mob of angry villagers.
Humans are interesting creatures because we go against Darwinism, in a way. Obviously we have survived this long because we are very adaptable. It’s not the strongest that survive but the ones that are most willing (or able) to change. We harbor the weak. The strong protect the sickly and dying. We don’t just let people with down-syndrome get eaten by lions anymore. We don’t allow people with depression to commit suicide either. Strange, right? Those people who think ADHD or depression doesn’t exist are lucky because if they know someone who feels it first hand, they would be shamed into thinking differently.
Go home, snake. You’re drunk.
Welcome. This is my 100th post to this website. I was very excited to do something special but really, I want to act like I’ve been there before and celebrate every little minuscule achievement. So that’s when I got to thinking…
These days there is a lot of talk about the legalization of marijuana in the United States. I figured I would weigh in on the topic because every time I hear people talk about it, I want to start slamming doors and scissor kicking children. Some people are just belligerently ignorant to so many facts. On both sides. Kicking ass and taking stances after the jump!
FUCK YOU, that’s why.
Hello. I am back from my little stand up comedy expedition in the Midwest. For more information, look at the post that I wrote for the Get Involved Comedy page.
This is a cool article that was sent to me by an anonymous reader so I would like to post it. No I didn’t write it… I will be chiming in with the italics and picture captions, like usual. Thanks to whoever wrote this. Just read it, will ya?
Ron Swanson does not approve of this message
I am very conflicted on this post. It is really hard to take a stance on one side or the other. I’m tackling the topic of depression and how society wills it’s young men to “man up” or “be a man.” It definitely has two sides to the coin and deserves a solid look before rushing into an argument.
The inspiration came from a video, so watch that and then we’ll talk. After the jump:
Al Bundy, my dude.
Alright. It’s this fucking article. You know the kind. The one where some stereotypically generic female rants and raves about “how to deal with women” or something like that. I have included the link at the bottom to show you that I did not alter anything. I will be commenting on every one of the 30 things they mention about women in a Fire Joe Morgan-like post. If you don’t know about “Fire Joe Morgan”, look it up. They were an excellent sports blog that would dissect things to a degree of embarrassment for the writer or speaker. They were like the geniuses of the sports blogging world. If they were part of Alvin and the Chipmunks, they would be Simon but funnier.
Just a side note, this is like a trilogy post. This will be post 1 of 3 all on the same topic. I hope you get some joy out of it or it is all for naught.
This used to be a perfectly acceptable pick up line…
Dating has become an insufferable thing in the age of technology. In our dad’s time you would just have to take a pin off of your letterman jacket and pluck that shit on some girl’s puppy skirt and she was yours. Forever. You went to prom, got her pregnant and married. No college. Life was simpler back then, and trust me…I have a degree in History.
The game became progressively easier and then became much harder through technology. I remember chatting with bitches on AOL all day and I would keep different avenues open and eventually all that hard work and chatting would pay off and I would get a wondrous week of hooking up with 2-3 different girls who all seem to come around at the same time for some reason? Hell, Myspace was even like a swinger’s playground for a while. Then something evil happened…
Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook. Immediately, women were overwhelmed with the accessibility of their T&A on the internet. People were creating fake emails to get access to different servers to get in contact with certain females. To put it plainly, it was “The Dawn of the Creeper.”