“Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need.” -Tom Robbins
I came across this article and started doing my research on the author, like I always do. This couple is called “Long Distance Love Bombs” and they are doing exactly what I am trying to do. Make the world a better place. They came out with a cool article strapped with tons of Tom Robbins which is awesome.
The article which I read was “How to Make Love Stay: 6 endless tips” and although the advice is generic (when broken down to one line) they explained it very well. Lets dive right into it.
I am usually the king of fights with women. Fist fights, verbal arguments…I win them all. However, I have been off of my game as of late. Those hussies stomped me out at the bar the other day and lately I have been feeling like I lose every argument. Why is that? I’m a wordsmith and a verbal assassin, God dammit. Why do I feel like I’m losing every fight? I’ll tell you why. Because I am getting away from Bill Burr’s brilliant bit. Alliteration aside, this is the secret to arguing with women. Listen up.
Sometimes I just need to find the golden information and not constantly spit it at you. Other people can do it for me.
[insert Ho Ho Ho jokes here]
It’s that time of the year again. You have to buy presents and shake babies and kiss hands. Meeting families, controlling your drinking…there is a lot on your plate! Not to mention if your significant something or other celebrates Jew Week, you are experiencing customs you aren’t familiar with PLUS you have to come back to your house in a week or two and introduce her to your family and tell her that her religion is wrong. THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO!
This is the first Christmas that I will not be celebrating with a girlfriend since I was like 13 years old. How am I making due with the loneliness? You know. Just blogging from my mother’s basement and crying a lot while Morrissey and The Smiths ring in the New Year.
More holiday talk after the jump
Duck Face = Invisible Spaghetti
I recently came across this article and all of these girls’ faces. Get it? Like semen. On their faces? Ah, you get it! Well anyway, I guess a lot of my Facebook friends are on a big “love” kick as well because I have been reading tons of cool articles that I haven’t had to go out and find. This one in particular has grabbed my interest because it’s about old-fashioned dating sentiments which I am a big fan of. It also goes great with the Chivalry piece I wrote.
However, society has changed. You cannot continue to perform outdated practices because sometimes they are viewed as creepy or weird. People will say you have “an old soul” and all that jazz (Editor’s Note: I’m trying to bring this phrase back). I won’t disagree or agree with this article as a whole but I will break down what they are suggesting and see where we can go with it. I do agree with some of these things and disagree with others. This isn’t like the trilogy posts because those were just silly articles written by dumb people. This one seems well thought out AND I don’t have to click 25-50 times to get through the fucking list. I want to scissor kick the person who created that shit.
More after the jump:
Hugh: What are you saying? I can pick up women?
Morpheus: No, Hugh. I’m trying to tell you is that when you are ready…you won’t have to.
Did that just blow your minds out the back of your face? I know that every time I try to have a serious conversation about chivalry it usually turns into an old timey sexual harassment demonstration on what not to do. Basically like whenever you have a serious talk about racism, one guy will look over his shoulder and start spitting out really hacky, played out black-jokes that I’ve heard a million times and never laughed at once.
I think the term “chivalry” has become a parody of itself. No one believes that it exists, so why would anyone take it seriously? I don’t take Santa Claus seriously. I don’t take Chloe Kardashian seriously. That shit isn’t real to me. I understand why people do it, however the idea of being chivalrous is just horribly misunderstood; not imaginary.
Let’s sex it up a bit. Oh. And Patrick.
Alright, this will close out our trilogy posting. Post 3 of 3. This was a response article to the last article I wrote about. The contrapositive if you will. This is an article written about things women don’t understand about men. How many times am I going to say “article?” Whoa, we’re getting crazy over here at Operation: Love. I will be able to explain this stuff a little better, you know, being a man myself.
Again, it’s full of stereotypes but just take it with a grain of salt and maybe a xanax.
Man, does that sting.
I have tried to start this post off like 3-4 different ways and it all sounded stupid. I want to talk about healthy relationships. The issue I am having is that I have no experience in healthy relationships. Absolutely zero experience. I feel as if it is kind of like a shitty career job you would interview for. You know, the entry level job that you somehow need experience for? I understand that I need experience to be a plastic surgeon but how am I going to get experience unless you let me cut your face open? There I go again. I’m terrible at analogies.
I have learned that there are four things that everyone needs to have in a healthy relationship. Respect, Honesty/Trust, Equality and lastly Good Communication.
More after this brief click…