The busiest man on the planet who does nothing is back with another twisted adventure into the mind of a cynic. I think I saw someone post about this topic a while ago. I saved one line in my phone and I can’t find the source at all. So bear with me, my integrity as a journalist is at stake here!
Also, I think this blog has been labeled as a “Dating Advice Column” but I would like to stress that I merely like to write about marital relationships because I find them interesting. I also would like this blog to be about all sorts of relationships. This post leans more towards relationships in general, not just the sexy kind.
More after the jump.
I think one of the hardest things to do is to invest time in something and then have to eventually let it go. Think about it. Have you ever gambled in a casino? You get burned once and you don’t walk away. You wait until your house is owned by an alcoholic Apache. Alliteration aside, have you ever tried to buy a stock? You hold on to that pharmaceutical company selling toddler marijuana like it’s a life raft. Sure it took a 78% dive in 2 weeks while being shut down by the FDA but you are confident it will turn around so you can break even. Those children need their drugs!
Imagine all of that multiplied by like 10. Wow. I didn’t break out a hyperbole for once. Kudos to the Hughbear. Not like that racist bear that we met earlier, he gets no kudos. Anyway, my point was that it is much harder to invest your time into a person. Then when they burn you (and they always do), you give them a second chance. Everyone preaches “Forgive but don’t forget.” No one actually does it. You can have a ton of chances with a person before you totally napalm that bridge. Especially if you had some sort of positive characteristics before you became an asshole. It is much easier to take advantage of people if you were once nice. It also helps when the other person wants to hold on to “break even” in the relationship.
This was basically the entire plot to Rocky 5. Rocky definitely would have benefitted by realizing one significant fact about relationships. Not all relationships are meant to last. This may sound cynical but if you think that then you are missing the point. Sure there are friends and relatives that stay in your life for life. Those are your ride or die bitches.
Other times, you get a teacher or some friends from school or a co-worker in your life. Those relationships might not last for completely normal and logical reasons. You will [hopefully] graduate school or you may [hopefully not] get fired. Now that the circumstances have changed, it is time to move on. It doesn’t matter how close you were when your lives were perfectly aligned. Now that they aren’t, everything has changed. You will never be as close as you once were. You don’t have that common ground that you used to.
At this point in your life, you can make a decision because you have two options. The first option is to let it go like a Disney princess and be happy. The second option is to latch on and wait to be pulled off while kicking and screaming like a child. There will be claw marks in what you are holding on to. It will look like a zebra carcass after the jackals get through with it.
Regardless of your choice, you have to understand that everyone has been put into your life for a reason. I don’t believe that silly bullshit that “everything happens for a reason” but I do think that everyone you meet has some sort of purpose in your life. You just aren’t looking hard enough at the lessons they may have taught. Sometimes you don’t even have to look at all the things you were taught, you can just look at all the things you didn’t get from a relationship to realize that it was no good for you. Mine usually involve handcuffs.
I know that I have had a tough time letting go of certain people or aspects of my life. Some friends from my past that were amazing turned out to be just another face in the crowd. It’s nothing against them. They aren’t “fake” or “haters.” We just grew apart organically. I completely understand. All of the awesome memories and stories that I have made with those people are not negated by the silence of our current relationship or lack thereof. It doesn’t matter that we aren’t friends anymore. It really doesn’t. What matters is that I had an awesome time. If a relationship is reduced to memories, let it be just that. Fond memories and stories to tell.
I guess the situation goes for sexual relationships as well. Sure there might be some women out there that have mortally wounded my soul. They might have layered thick coats of ice and stone over my once red heart. What really matters is that I learned what a liar sounds like. I learned how to tell when someone is unhappy. I learned how to cut my losses. I learned how to make myself happy and self sooth. I learned how to be self-reliant. You can learn a lot from a mistake, yo.
Not all relationships are meant to last. It’s not cynical, it is factual. Not every person you meet will be a lifelong mentor or friend. Not every girl you meet will be your wife. People die. Things change. That is just the cold, hard truth. Now that you know that, maybe you can learn to let things go because sometimes letting go is the most liberating thing you can possibly do.
And to my friends that I do not see anymore…