Okay, I’m back to reading the Elite Daily because I hate my life and I see these things from my friends. This article is entitled “The Hook Up Culture Only Exists because this Generation has Never Fallen in Love.” I would say that the article is written by a man, but that sounds like I’m implying that this isn’t a complete abortion of opinions. Not even like a good abortion done by professionals. Like a messy one done with a vacuum bought at Target performed by an abortion survivor.
He starts by breaking a relationship down to the simplest form a man could understand. Friendship and sex. Okay, his emotional capacity is that of a Justin Timberlake movie. He better start making sense or I’m going to start turning into a verbal assassinating ninja vampire.
More after the jump
I understand that dating is often outweighed by the negatives. It’s time-consuming. It’s expensive. It’s frustrating. Many think of it as a waste of time. That last one is false. Nothing is a waste of time if you can learn from it, yo. I feel like dating is much more than just sex and social interaction. Of course it starts with that but it can hopefully evolve into much more. That is why people want to “play the field” to see if there is something better out there. Usually there isn’t.
The author says that the special ingredient is “real intimacy” and I’m not sure but I think he said everyone in a current relationship doesn’t have it. I don’t know if I’m sleep deprived or this is just a retarded statement from a silly man-scribe. I also never understand why people type things like “f*cking” because everyone knows what you’re saying. Especially when you use the word in context. What’s the point? Do sponsors really care if you drop the “u”? Whatever, I digress.
He does mention one nice point and that is that humans desire intimacy. Real intimacy. Exposing yourself to someone else and that feeling when all of your fear dissipates because all of the things you were self-conscious about do not matter to the person you are standing emotionally naked in front of. They believe that all of your flaws and imperfections are what make you perfect. True vulnerability will reveal true intimacy and true love.
As people, we build these stupid fucking walls that keep people out because we are afraid of being hurt. However, these walls become counter productive because people who would be perfect for us get exhausted of swinging a sledgehammer at those stupid emotional barricades. Other times the people who were inside our walls end up hurting us and we feel even worse when that happens. I know I have said this before but it deserves a second appearance on the blog. People still argue for this “wall building strategy” against me all the time. I think it is because they don’t understand how liberating it is to lower the defenses and to simply trust in people. Yeah, you will be burned but only one time if you are smart. You will never have to burned by that person again, if you so choose. Without these defenses up, you aren’t worried about their future actions harming you or the past wars you have been through. You will truly remain in the present with the person you are staring at or talking to. It’s an amazing feeling. Like if Atlas dropped the weight of the world for a smoke break.
This guy is saying that the “hook up culture” exists because people of this generation haven’t fallen in love yet. I understand where he is going with it, but it is dumb. He says to stop wasting your time dating people you don’t care about and find that earth-shattering, mind-bending love. He says “the near-perfect relationship” exists. I tend to agree with that last statement except I know that perfection comes from perception, so I can believe that someone is perfect or perfect for me. Everyone always says perfect doesn’t exist. If it didn’t exist it wouldn’t be a concept. Those people are just skeptics. Perfection exists. In your mind.
The problem I have with the article is the trial by error. How are you supposed to know you don’t care about someone unless you try them out? How can you tell? How can you tell if someone is normal from one date? How can you tell if someone’s internet profile is going to lead into your future wife? Tell me your secrets, Elite Daily word vomit writer!
The underlying message is to not waste your time in a half-assed relationship. Don’t waste your partner’s time either. Wasted time is much worse than wasted talent. Fuck Sonny from A Bronx Tale. Don’t waste anyone’s time. The problem is you have to find this perfection through trial and error. I have to try and try to find the right person and how do I do that? By lowering my defenses and letting more and more people into my soul and being vulnerable in front of tons of people. That is a hard concept for many people. However the upfront honesty will be appreciated. I mean, you don’t want to just throw all of your crazy at someone on the first date. Make sure you like her laugh and can tolerate her eating habits before you start telling her about all the hookers and cocaine. You know? Don’t talk about your psych-ward stay when you can’t handle the fact that she bites a fork or has finger-toes.
So in conclusion, this article was written by a dummy who found love and thinks it is easy for us to find love too. It might not be that easy for you and I. Why? Tons of reasons. I’m not going to get into all of them because I already spoke about a few. However, I think we should never stop dating because that is how you find that true and perfect love. You won’t find it by not trying or by only dating people you connect with on a deep level. Why? Because you won’t know if you connect deeply until you spark up the conversation in the first place. You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle, but you can’t win anything either. I think Abraham Lincoln said that.