Welcome. This is my 100th post to this website. I was very excited to do something special but really, I want to act like I’ve been there before and celebrate every little minuscule achievement. So that’s when I got to thinking…
These days there is a lot of talk about the legalization of marijuana in the United States. I figured I would weigh in on the topic because every time I hear people talk about it, I want to start slamming doors and scissor kicking children. Some people are just belligerently ignorant to so many facts. On both sides. Kicking ass and taking stances after the jump!
My name is Hugh but that isn’t important. What is important is the fact that people in your country are going crazy about the legalization of a plant. Plants shouldn’t be illegal. As in they never should have been illegal. However, you made it illegal. Stick to your fucking guns, you pussies. Speaking of which, guns are legal. Don’t outlaw guns either. Outlaw dickheads, that might be easier. Start giving lobotomies to every idiot who threatens someone with a gun. You guys back pedal faster than any cornerback in the NFL because a few people in your district start complaining about something. Stop saying one thing and then doing another in 100 years. You’re like my parents on a smaller time line. This is why my moral compass is so twisted.
This whole situation is reminding me a lot of your cute little 13 year ban of alcohol from 1920 to 1933. Remember that? That was fun. Organized crime. Deliberate law breaking just to have some fun with some flappers in the back of a barber shop. Real men who stood up for what they believe in. Unlike anyone currently in our government. I honestly think that the idea of prohibition came from the The Opium Wars in 1839-1842 but that’s just me. Opium was devastating China. The British were stealing our American invasion tactics and failing miserably. They are just too damn nice. Start out with blankets and diseases, then get them hooked on the smack. Silly Brits, tricks are for Americans. Honestly, there are two different periods of time where drugs and alcohol caused a national crisis. Let’s not make this a third.
Calm down, potheads. I understand that marijuana isn’t as bad as opium (which is the main ingredient in heroin) or even alcohol. I also understand that the weed you are smoking isn’t the same shit that God intended. So stop telling me how natural your Sour Diesel is when you fertilize it with DDT and Agent Orange for added effects and spinal fluid disorders.
What gives me the right to talk about these things? Well, I guess I should be talking about my drug history. Why not? I’m an all-or-nothing thinking mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker. My motto was “I’ll try anything twice.” It just so happened to be that I tried crack and heroin a few thousand times for 6 years. Yeah. Man-drugs. Stuff that hurts your body, brain and spirit when you don’t use more of it. Stuff that grabs you by the fucking throat, shakes you down and hurts the people you love indirectly when you do use it. I didn’t complain about not setting lettuce on fire and inhaling it.
So, I’m speaking from experience and what I see in the underbelly of society is that if weed is legalized it will become a slippery slope. (No, I don’t mean that men will marry dogs or giraffes next. Sorry gay marriage people). Where do you stop? Do you have to legalize cocaine the next time you get into a jam and owe China money? What about when the heroin enthusiasts are lobbying congress for equal opportunity? Sounds ridiculous, right? Well it is the same thing. Marijuana is a drug and a drug is a drug is a drug.
Remember in High School when they talked about “gateway drugs?” Well, they were fucking right. Do you know how many people I have seen in rehabs that start their story out with something like “I used to just smoke a joint once in a while or drink socially.” Then turn out saying something like “I blew a clown for meth behind a clothing dumpster in a parking lot for a Lutheran church to get enough money for a 5 piece nugget.”
Gateway drugs aren’t a joke. Yes, there are people who can settle in the beer and pot world and be satisfied. And yes, they sound silly. However, there is a large percent of people who will smoke a joint for the first time and have a special part of their brain fire up. Those people will not stop using mind-bending drugs until they are living under a bridge with a war-veteran named Bricknuts.
You can’t just be like “Hey, this is the the lesser of two evils. How come this isn’t legal?” That’s like saying, “I want diabetes because hey, it’s not cancer!”
I think the education should be changed if you legalize your little plant that makes you hungry. If you are going to legalize weed, you will have to reinforce the horrors of the other stuff like cocaine, meth and heroin. I can see kids already saying something like; “Well, they couldn’t outlaw alcohol and now they reneged on weed…cocaine can’t be as bad as they say. They are all liars.” It’s fool-proof logic to me but it might ruin someone’s life. There should be some sort of drug pyramid where the stuff that won’t kill you is on top and the stuff that you can die from [if you stop taking it suddenly] is on the bottom. They did it with food.
All I’m trying to say is think about what you are doing. There are many more people who aren’t like me. There are people who will smoke tons of weed and it will never affect their lives. However, there are a lot of people like me that will start with a joint and a bottle of beer and end up trafficking humans or breeding kittens to support the lifestyle. I’m just scared for that kid who would be walking to 711 and buying weed for the first time, not knowing the shit he’s about to get into. Not knowing that in 6 years he will rob a CVS to support his oxy habit.
However, I think that it would be cool to legalize the drug to help with the debt. On the other hand, you would have to work on the laws for growing the plants. The government must control the supply to make money. This will also lead to low-grade shit. People will be bootlegging the pot much like they do now. They will be selling illegally because they will have better stuff. I honestly think it will backfire. That is, unless the government hires a bunch of stoners to grow the plants. Then these hippies can spend all day tweaking it so that the government has the finest bud rather than some 16 year-old named Rivers from Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
You can basically do anything you want in Amsterdam and their crime rates are so low, right? Yeah. I’ve heard all of the arguments in between burrito bites from some crunchy hippie. The issue with that is you can’t be like “Hey all of that stuff that was illegal? Yeah. Go nuts.” You can’t do that to the American people because we struggle with the laws we have now. If you removed 90% of those laws, we would want to break the other 10%. Murder would become a hobby for most. Americans have this need to feel like they are rebelling and breaking the law.
Well America, the one thing I want to see from you is to just stand up for yourself. We used to be a country that went to war over taxes and oppression. We used to throw people’s shit in the ocean when they pissed us off. Now, our President is busy taking selfies in the bathroom mirror with sworn enemies of freedom. What has become of us?
Oh and what about all those people who were arrested previously and have misdemeanors and felonies due to selling and using marijuana? What about those 600,000 people in New York State (since 1997) that have been arrested due to weed related crimes? Their lives have already been ruined in some form or another. How are they going to be compensated?
The only real reason to legalize pot would be to shut up stoners. Honestly. To anyone reading, use responsibly. How does one do that? By not using.