The idea of marriage is becoming a silly superstition. There is this thing called “Polyamory” that people are thinking is an awesome idea. Ugh. I don’t even want to get into that. I’ll cover that in more depth in the near future after some thorough research and soul-searching. This article came to my attention and I took the spelling errors with a grain of salt and a few Amoxicillin because I thought it was cute. Here is a list of girls that will never marry.
Let me preface this article by saying, to their credit (what little they have), these girls seem unconcerned with marriage. What I’m going to do is speak on the woman than find her a potential mate. I’m not about judging people (publicly); my goal is to try to help people make connections!
The Coke Fiend:
Wow, getting right into it. The coke fiend will never marry, huh? I think that is pretty blatant. Marriage is never on a drug addict’s mind. Especially if drugs are scarce. If a drug addict comes into money and has drugs every day, then marriage becomes a thought with their running partner. I think the coke fiend will not marry because she does not want to marry unless she finds the stock broker of her dreams. Regardless, keep coming back.
Emotional instability aside, this girl will never marry. Period. She will be forever looking for an upgrade. Always trying to find a younger, better looking man until she is practically cradle robbing and by that point it is for a different reason. She’s doing it because her biological clock is ticking and may never have kids from years of abusing her body with eating disorders and ketamine. The model will only marry if she falls for her photographer or someone else who will further her career. Sounds like a comedian…
The EDM Girl:
God, I hate these bitches. You look ridiculous. Stop going to circus parties dressed in duct tape and knee pads. Again, I think the EDM chick is not even concerned with marriage. These girls are just looking to get strung out on molly and eat a Ring Pop for an hour and a half. Do I even have to tell you that they will match up with some YouTube DJ rubbing iPods together to try to get the best robot sound possible?
The Video Vixen:
Really? A cam-whore? Wow. We are getting deep into the slums of society. I think the “video vixen” will get married. Actually, I think they usually are married. I think it’s a fetish thing of their husbands or they are a single mom looking for extra cash. Actually, I think they are fake. I think they are holograms or sentient machines because how come they never cry when I tell them to bark like a dog and put their shoe on their head?
Oh wait, he meant the girls twerking in music videos? Okay. That makes less sense. There’s like seventeen of these chicks. They just recycle them. I saw the chick from Juvenile’s “Drop it like it’s hot” in 2Chainz new video. The bitch is like 48 and has battle scars. These chicks will never marry because they are past their prime by the time the video stops airing but they will probably marry some back-up dancer or a wannabe white gangbanger with corn rows.
This list is getting silly. The princess? Really? JAP-Girls from Long Island always get married. They are the first ones married. On the other hand they are also the first ones divorced. They will settle down with an accountant that makes $65,000 a year right out of college. They get engaged. They show off their $3,000 ring for a few months and have a wedding at some VFW because their best man was a volunteer fire fighter. 6 months later they are fighting with their spouse about their in-vitro pregnancy over Chinese take out because she doesn’t cook. Then they go out and party until they are 46 and did two stints in rehab. Their drug of choice was “Selfies.” They will then call themselves a MILF or a cougar. Then they die. The end.
This is a tricky one because it all depends on how good of a liar they are. If they are an awesome liar or their man is blindly in love (Read as: Naive) then they will get married. However, they will also be divorced early. Very early. The web of lies will get washed away in the first few years of marriage. Maybe after they get a family plan on their phones or the pool boy is never standing up in fear of showing his erection.
I think this article isn’t about what girls will never marry but rather who are the men that are marrying these dizzy broads. If you are miserable in your relationship, maybe it is because you are dating one of these people. Did you ever think of that? Your decision-making is off, tiger. Get yourself a driven, powerful woman who dresses conservatively and wears sexy underwear. You’ll be much happier.