I came across this article and started doing my research on the author, like I always do. This couple is called “Long Distance Love Bombs” and they are doing exactly what I am trying to do. Make the world a better place. They came out with a cool article strapped with tons of Tom Robbins which is awesome.
The article which I read was “How to Make Love Stay: 6 endless tips” and although the advice is generic (when broken down to one line) they explained it very well. Lets dive right into it.
I think I am obsessed with this “Long Distance Love Bombs” because it is a couple. They write as a couple. Most blogs are written from either a male or a female. These two put their brain power together to tell us what works. Although, if they ever broke up all of their advice would become mute (in my eyes) just like those liars Captain and Tennille. Do you see how my brain goes right to the negative? For now, these two are happy and writing amazing things to help couples stay together. Now here is there list.
Love her fiercely:
Respect her boundaries, but break down her walls. Crush her fears and free her mind. She’s yours, and it’s up to you to be hers. Be the hero she’s always wanted but never knew she needed.
Be a brazen inspiration. Be a bold revelation. Be a novel innovation. Earn her every day and appreciate her every night. Give her your heart and defend hers at all costs. Be a warrior for love armed with a quiver full of fervor, and love will forever follow you into the hunt.
I like these words. They are passionate, but like I said, generic. When you break it down to the bare essentials, it is something that I already knew. If the key to lasting love is loving with your whole heart then I think couples have figured that out long ago.
They also mention that when a relationship turns routine that you should mix it up. I am behind that 100%. Spicing up a relationship seems awfully hard for the unimaginative or the uninspired but the key is to get creative. Be uncomfortable. Try something new. Do something you have always talked about but never had the opportunity to do. If she is never bored, she will never have the chance to complain. It’s that simple, fellas.
Make her feel beautiful:
After all, beautiful things create beautiful things. So go ahead and be beautiful together, and love will stick around to watch.
These people are adorable! I can’t stand it. It makes me sick. I want to murder them. I’m just kidding but that’s how my thinking goes. What can I say? They are right though. Making your girlfriend feel beautiful will make the relationship stay sexy because if she feels beautiful she will feel sexy and if she feels sexy she will have sex with you. See how easy that is? This will help in future tips from these people so I’ll speak about that later.
As for making her feel beautiful, how do you do it? Simple. Find what she is self-conscious about. Is it her thighs? Is it a birthmark? Is it her tummy? Whatever it is, you will know after a few weeks of dating because girls are always talking about their insecurities because they want you to tell them that they don’t exist and they are crazy. That’s how crazy girls are. They want to hear that they are crazy.
Anyway, her insecurities will become apparent and what do you do? Kiss her stretch marks. She won’t have sex without her shirt on? When you finally convince her, tell her how beautiful she looks. When she has zero make up on, tell her that this is when you find her the prettiest. Make her feel vulnerable yet comfortable. Make her feel like whatever flaws she thinks she has, don’t exist. Simple, yet complicated for an oblivious male. So start paying attention to your woman, ya jerk.
Make her feel safe:
When you understand, relate and remember. Become fluent in the language she speaks. Encourage her to be the best her possible, even if that means exposing the hard truths that she tries to avoid, the facts that she can no longer ignore.
It’s up to you to make her see that, ultimately, no one else will make her happy but her. It’s up to you to help her help herself. Earn her trust and then keep making deposits, because helping a woman feel safe empowers her to do the things that her heart tells her they need to be done.
This is what I was saying with the “vulnerable yet comfortable” but take it a step further. She should be able to walk through Bushwick, Brooklyn at 2AM with you because you are a powerhouse of protection. You will scissor kick any junkie coming to take her Gucci bag. But take it even a step further…
Safe doesn’t just mean physically stopping ninjas from attacking. Safe means that you don’t have wandering eyes looking for an upgrade. Safe means that she can confide in you with all of her secrets. Safe means she isn’t scared to vocalize all of her thoughts without fear of being made fun of, told she is stupid or wrong, yelled at for thinking that way, etc.
Plus, if she isn’t worried about the relationship she can worry about tons of other things because you won’t remove the worry from a woman’s life. That’s impossible. But you will be one less thing, yo.
Make her feel important:
She is a best friend, mentor and biggest fan all in one. Your life would be worse without her in it. You would miss her if she were gone. She is the best thing in your world. Don’t you ever fucking lose sight of that, and love will have no chance to escape.
Like, how cute are they? Seriously. The picture above had nothing to do with this but I googled “important female” and this came up. Sometimes google is weird. Maybe I’m just doing it wrong? Whatever. I thought it was funny.
Making her feel important sounds very….wrong. You shouldn’t have to “make” her feel important. She should be important to you. If she was feeling “less than” then of course, you will have to resuscitate her self-worth like any good boyfriend does.
However, the constant validation of another can get tiresome. So, I don’t know if I agree with this one totally. She should be a strong, confident woman not some chick with daddy issues, low self-esteem and oral fixations. Moving on…
Fuck her good:
Be giving, with words and touch. Be intimate, with emotions and experience. Be thoughtful, with deeds and desires. Seduce her away from her distractions. Excite her.
This one is a tad obvious and I feel like if you are looking up “How to have great sex” you aren’t having great sex. I’m not going to sit here and preach to you like I know what I’m doing in this category because I like to think I know what I am talking about but every girl is different. I also like to think that I stimulate their mind before I please her in the bedroom and that, my friends, is the secret to a healthy and happy sexual relationship.
I’m sure there are ex-playmates of mine that will tell you that I am clueless and there are others that probably hate my guts but will tell you that I am great in bed. I’m not going to pretend like things are different and I’m some Kama Sutra guru. The only “secret” I can let you in on is that girls will tell you what they like. Communication is the key to a happy sex life. Girls know what they like and want that delivered. It can range from some crazy role playing scenario to simple dirty talking or even some basic position. Just keep your eyes and ears open and she will hint at it or out right tell you what it is that she wants.
Make her laugh:
So do it, and do it often. Goof around. Be playful. Have fun. Locate your inner child and give him a high five. Find some grass and do some somersaults. Enjoy the ride and love will sit next to you, its head on your shoulder, smiling all the while, for where there is laughter, there is love.
I hope to God that you knew this already. I think every single girl on an internet dating site wants someone with a sense of humor. Why? Because a sense of humor is golden. No one wants a dark, sociopath that can’t find the funny in the mundane.
This might sound a little self-serving coming from a stand up comedian just like when someone tells a drug addict “Why don’t you just stop using drugs?” It’s a lot easier said than done. However, I like the way this couple proposed their argument. Be silly. It doesn’t take much comedic brilliance or timing to be a silly goose.
In the grand scheme of things if you have her laughing, she is yours. However, there are those who say they want funny but what they want is Ryan Gosling to make them laugh. Those chicks aren’t worth your time. They are shallow.
I also think that if you are in a serious relationship, this should come easy to you because if you are hanging out a lot there has to be a reason. Most likely it is because your personalities mesh. Run with it. Even if it is something as dumb as sending a funny picture on the internet. You will constantly score points.
And thus concludes the list. It was written beautifully on their part. I really liked what they had to say (and I’m curious as to when they come out with the flip side to the coin as they discussed in the comments section). I think a lot of the advice is a bit obvious when you just look at the bold print, but a lot of people would not know these things unless it punched them in the Adam’s apple.
I know this turned out to be pretty long. I hope you enjoyed it.