This is the first Christmas that I will not be celebrating with a girlfriend since I was like 13 years old. How am I making due with the loneliness? You know. Just blogging from my mother’s basement and crying a lot while Morrissey and The Smiths ring in the New Year.
More holiday talk after the jump
Alright, this post is going to be short and to the point because I fucking love the holidays. I don’t understand why people hate the holidays. Especially if those people have a functioning family. If your dad is at the racetrack gambling away your Xbox and your mom is giving handies for a crack rock at the dinner table, yeah…I can understand that you don’t like the holidays. You get a pass. The rest of your motherfuckers need to start enjoying yourselves. I SAID ENJOY YOURSELF!
- Careful with the presents, yo- Do yourself a favor and sit down with your significant something or other and have a talk about what you will get each other for Christmas. Confusing feelings for how much money you spend occurs often this time of year.
- YOU DON’T HAVE TO INVITE THEM TO A CHRISTMAS PARTY- If you are in a new relationship or just “Dating” then why are you going to bring this person to meet all of your friends and family? You wouldn’t do it on date #2 in August, so why do it in December? They will respect this later.
- Also, don’t be offended if they don’t bring you- Self explanatory
- If you do bring them, introduce them- Don’t leave the person hanging while you take shots and dribble egg nog down your chin like some elf slut. Show them off a bit. Make them feel special.
- Don’t get too drunk- Every holiday party has one lush. If you can’t spot the drunk, you are the drunk. You’re leopard print Santa hat looks stupid and so do you.
- Just go with the flow- Everyone has different customs and traditions around the holidays. Just enjoy them and don’t try to fight change.
Alright, that’s it. I wrote more but it didn’t fucking save and I”m not doing it again. Mostly because I had sites and pics saved that I deleted from my computer and phone. Can’t remember them. This turned out awful. Oh and did I mention that I’m spending Christmas like a sober and lonely little drummer boy?
Sorry for the lazy post. Well, not really. But enjoy the holidays none the less.