Let me start this post by apologizing. I have to say that I was judging a book by its cover. The Beer and Feminism chick is actually super cool and I misjudged her writing as she swears that her post was satire directed at a few friends. After I put her shit on blast, what was her reaction?
Wow. Do I feel like a bag of shit. How can I spit such hate at a person and they respond by laughing? Are people really that nice? Is this real life? She even said I was right and a great writer. This is ridiculous. It’s like I pouted and stamped my feet and all I got was “Aw. Look at the cute little guy. Isn’t he cute when he’s mad?”
So, I apologized to Alyssa because she is extremely nice and talented. Also, super cute like I said. She likes to pretend she’s hard and tough. It’s definitely not the case. I’m not sure if she has accepted my apology, she certainly doesn’t have to but I’m sure she will get me back somehow.
Anyways, after a few days of my post EXPLODING and tons of traffic being directed to my little slice of the internet, I received my first piece of Hate Mail. Can I just say now how offended I am? This person must know my whole life story and they called me out on a lot of shit. Damn. It cut DEEP. I need to go take 3 hot showers in my pajamas.
Hate Mail after the jump:
Also, I would like to set the mood. So please enjoy this song while you read this:
Dear Hypocrite Hugh,
First and foremost, who the FUCK do you think you are? I have been reading your stupid little blog since you started writing it. It’s full of BULLSHIT. How many times are you going to post about how you have never had a faithful girlfriend? I know for a FACT that you have pretty much cheated on every girl you have ever been with but I guess since you are finally clean and sober you think you are some sort of enlightened serenity warrior. Eat a dick, Buddha-boy.
This is the same guy who has been arrested countless times and has had his mug shot posted all over TV, newspapers and the internet. The same guy who has fucked and dumped countless friends of mine. The same guy who just got out of rehab. The same guy who I have seen get his jaw broken for being a scum bag. YOU are supposed to teach US on how to be a good person? What did you find God in jail like the rest of society’s piece of shit? Yeah, you are following right in Jesus’ footsteps, prick.
Now let us look at your misogynistic rant attacking this poor girl (who is a GREAT writer and MUCH funnier than you!). Not only is she not a hipster but she also supplied a link to that study. Guess what? Guys really do mature 11 years slower than females. Maybe if you asked for the link she could have supplied it? Instead, you just attacked her like a rabid dog. How wrong can one person be? You would know this shit if you did some research, like a real writer, like Alyssa.
Next, you speak about how successful you were at 23 years old. So, let me ask you, how are you living now? I am pretty sure you are unemployed and lost your driver’s license. Am I wrong? How’s that college degree working out for you? Dowling College, was it? Yeah, that is almost as prestigious as Binghamton, you self-serving douche bag. Isn’t that school about to shut down?
LOL and oh yeah, your dick might kill someone? This is the same guy who is showing signs of early onset male pattern baldness? The same guy who ALL of my friends said can’t fuck, even if his life depended on it? The same guy that has had a beer gut since he was 16? Yeah. Keep talking, Levittrash-bag.
And what would you know about emotional maturity? Most of your pictures are “selfies” and you are supposed to be a grown ass man? Really? All you do is just post pictures of animals and memes. (Editor’s note: Got me here.) Grow the fuck up, Peter Pan. Get a job while you are at it.
I think I remember you calling her an “emo-cunt” or something like that? How could you even do that? You do nothing but post pictures of Banksy’s artwork and your favorite bands on Facebook are ALL emo bands. Look at the shit you have been posting on your stupid website?! Were you always this hypocritical or did you learn to be a douche bag? Was it nature or nurture that enables you to be such a lying asshole?
Lastly, what the fuck was that simulated date? Did you play that whole scenario out in your head? Wow. You are a creepy psychopath on top of being a lying, hypocritical, womanizing drunken scum bag.
Remember Google can be a BITCH. That awkward moment when you get called out on your shit.. Yep. It is pretty awkward, isn’t it?
Let me respond by saying, wow. You did your fucking homework. You must be a close “friend” of mine. I appreciate you sticking up for Alyssa. I did deserve that. She’s a good girl and she didn’t deserve what I did. However, I don’t like how you stole my sign off, though. That shit ain’t cool, yo.
Man. I really need to take a self inventory after that. That hurt. Is that what it feels like to be at the wrong end of one of my verbal assassinations? Jesus christ. Anyway, props to whoever did that shit. Karma is a bitch, huh?
I really don’t know how to come back from that. I am just posting random pictures that I have saved on my computer. I’ll concede defeat. YOU WIN. Alright? You have broken my spirit, internet. I’ll be back tomorrow with some dating advice. I need to go smoke a thousand cigarettes and listen to The Cure.
Via con Dios,