I’m going on vacation.
Alright, I’m mentally exhausted from the insanity that I have conducted on this blog. I’m going to spend some time playing Xbox (Logic47 to kill people with me) and playing Call of Duty or Battlefield 4 until my eyes bleed. I’m going to hang out with my family and my friends and hopefully some qt3.14’s.
I have been performing Stand Up Comedy like a fiend. Check out my show dates. And for anyone wondering that’s a cotton candy martini in my hands up there.
In the meantime, catch up on some old posts and have fun reading everything because I doubt you have. That link has 17 of my favorite posts that I had the most fun writing. I most likely won’t stop writing but will not be posting until after Christmas. Maybe even the New Year. Who knows how long I need to get back to neutral.
I have links all over the site to my internet musings. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Vine, YouTube, Adult Friend Finder, JDate, Plenty of Fish, Etc. Just find me. I am very stalker accessible.
Enjoy it and spend some time with your family. Stop being the ghost of Christmas present.
Via con Dios,
“Spreading the H(ugh)IV Love Drug since 1986”
[insert Ho Ho Ho jokes here]
It’s that time of the year again. You have to buy presents and shake babies and kiss hands. Meeting families, controlling your drinking…there is a lot on your plate! Not to mention if your significant something or other celebrates Jew Week, you are experiencing customs you aren’t familiar with PLUS you have to come back to your house in a week or two and introduce her to your family and tell her that her religion is wrong. THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO!
This is the first Christmas that I will not be celebrating with a girlfriend since I was like 13 years old. How am I making due with the loneliness? You know. Just blogging from my mother’s basement and crying a lot while Morrissey and The Smiths ring in the New Year.
More holiday talk after the jump
Duck Face = Invisible Spaghetti
I recently came across this article and all of these girls’ faces. Get it? Like semen. On their faces? Ah, you get it! Well anyway, I guess a lot of my Facebook friends are on a big “love” kick as well because I have been reading tons of cool articles that I haven’t had to go out and find. This one in particular has grabbed my interest because it’s about old-fashioned dating sentiments which I am a big fan of. It also goes great with the Chivalry piece I wrote.
However, society has changed. You cannot continue to perform outdated practices because sometimes they are viewed as creepy or weird. People will say you have “an old soul” and all that jazz (Editor’s Note: I’m trying to bring this phrase back). I won’t disagree or agree with this article as a whole but I will break down what they are suggesting and see where we can go with it. I do agree with some of these things and disagree with others. This isn’t like the trilogy posts because those were just silly articles written by dumb people. This one seems well thought out AND I don’t have to click 25-50 times to get through the fucking list. I want to scissor kick the person who created that shit.
More after the jump:
In the Internet writing world the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The writers who post the content and the anonymous jerks who make fun of the writers. These are their stories.
As you may have seen, I started a little flame war with the Beer and Feminism girl. Things went as planned. I was called a good writer and funny and right. Then something strange happened. Someone sent me a crazy piece of hate mail anonymously. They said awful things about me. A lot of it was deep and dark. I want to know who would do that to me, so I called in the best two detectives that I know.
Look at poor little Hughy and that feminist lion.
Let me start this post by apologizing. I have to say that I was judging a book by its cover. The Beer and Feminism chick is actually super cool and I misjudged her writing as she swears that her post was satire directed at a few friends. After I put her shit on blast, what was her reaction?
@THElogic I’m crying laughing at your response to my post. Well played. But I don’t eat steak and I live with my parents. #truth
Wow. Do I feel like a bag of shit. How can I spit such hate at a person and they respond by laughing? Are people really that nice? Is this real life? She even said I was right and a great writer. This is ridiculous. It’s like I pouted and stamped my feet and all I got was “Aw. Look at the cute little guy. Isn’t he cute when he’s mad?”
So, I apologized to Alyssa because she is extremely nice and talented. Also, super cute like I said. She likes to pretend she’s hard and tough. It’s definitely not the case. I’m not sure if she has accepted my apology, she certainly doesn’t have to but I’m sure she will get me back somehow.
Anyways, after a few days of my post EXPLODING and tons of traffic being directed to my little slice of the internet, I received my first piece of Hate Mail. Can I just say now how offended I am? This person must know my whole life story and they called me out on a lot of shit. Damn. It cut DEEP. I need to go take 3 hot showers in my pajamas.
Hate Mail after the jump:
I liked my meditation post so much that I’m going to do something similar with this post. This is more like “Music Therapy”. Instead of meditating, try listening to this song for what it is. Don’t worry about the music type. If it isn’t your thing, just deal with it. Have an open mind for once in your stupid, pointless life. What else do you have to do? Spend hours on buzzfeed or worldstarhiphop?
Lyrics after the jump:
Hugh: What are you saying? I can pick up women?
Morpheus: No, Hugh. I’m trying to tell you is that when you are ready…you won’t have to.
Did that just blow your minds out the back of your face? I know that every time I try to have a serious conversation about chivalry it usually turns into an old timey sexual harassment demonstration on what not to do. Basically like whenever you have a serious talk about racism, one guy will look over his shoulder and start spitting out really hacky, played out black-jokes that I’ve heard a million times and never laughed at once.
I think the term “chivalry” has become a parody of itself. No one believes that it exists, so why would anyone take it seriously? I don’t take Santa Claus seriously. I don’t take Chloe Kardashian seriously. That shit isn’t real to me. I understand why people do it, however the idea of being chivalrous is just horribly misunderstood; not imaginary.