Whoa. That last article took a lot out of me. I don’t think people understand the dark place I have to seek in my soul to create some of this stuff. I have to literally step out of myself and judge my life in an unbiased way. It’s emotionally draining and spiritually taxing. With that being said, let us move on.
Next order of business, Happy Thanksgiving and Jewish Christmas. This is a time for gratefulness, yet I hope it just reminds you of the gratuity that you show on a daily basis. If we are just thankful one day a year, well…I don’t even want to think of that society.
This next piece is on “attraction.” First off, what is it? Attraction is what you feel when you can’t explain what is going on when you see a particular person. I’m sure Webster has something different to say. Probably about magnets, but I describe attraction as that smile a person gets when they talk about the person they are in love with. Almost every time that person will say something like “I don’t know what it is about them.” That is attraction. The subconscious gravitational pull of one person to another. And, I think she knows I’m talking about her.
Okay, secondly how does one get attractive? I honestly believe you can’t force any sort of attraction. Unlike these people who say you can “make love happen.” Most of the stuff in that article is really solid advice. However, you will not always get the spouse of your dreams from those quick 6 tips. So take it with a grain of salt.
Attraction is a completely, unspoken thing you feel without being aware that you are feeling it. Sometimes it is the stuff you are born with. That being said, you can definitely become someone’s type very simply. A girl can change her hair color if a guy likes brunettes or blondes meanwhile a guy can easily transition from a jock to a goth in a matter of minutes. Although, you shouldn’t change who you are as a person for another that is always an option if you truly do love that other person. You can fit to their mold rather than trying to make someone fit into yours. Control the controllables, that’s what I always say. And yes, I’m aware I created a word. “Selfie” wasn’t a word either but now it is.
Follow me, friends. I must keep the front page clean.
That definition of attraction came from me describing someone very specific. I just cannot help but to smile when thinking of her. The only thing I would change about her is her last name. However, it’s an impossible relationship and if you would believe Sonny from A Bronx Tale, then you only meet one great girl every 10 years. I’m not due for the next great girl to appear for another 5 years.
Yes, I am done being a gayboy. For now. Moving right along…
My feelings on attraction are not purely physical. Of course that helps, but I am definitely more of a sapiosexual (one who finds intelligence the sexiest characteristic of their potential partner). I think the physical features are the bait and the personality or mind is the fishing rod and line, if that makes sense. Fish analogies. Is this what I have resorted to? How low have I sank? GET IT!?!
On a deeper level, I know that I am mostly attracted to certain qualities in other people that I wish I had in my own self. For example, I’m particularly interested in people that are strong, dedicated, independent and enthusiastic. Why? Mostly because I feel like I’m weak and afraid of commitment. Plus, I never like what I am doing and I live at home with my parents at 27.
You can’t help what you are attracted to. Otherwise, I’m sure there wouldn’t be gays and pedophiles and chubby chasers. You like what you like and usually people will go to lengths to protect what they like. Have you ever seen how much fetish-porn is out there? The Japanese and Germans are sick, yo. But, you are what you are. You can be no more and I can be no less. *wink*
This is where attraction becomes an issue. Sometimes, it isn’t mutual. I have seen and been in situations where one person is attracted to the other but the feelings are not reciprocated because: 1. “They weren’t my type.” or 2. “I just didn’t feel a spark.” or 3. “They are married.” or 4. “She doesn’t know I exist.” LOVE ME, KATE UPTON! LOVE ME!
Other times, I see toxic relationships because people are addicted to the chase or want what they cannot have. These types of people are usually never happy. I know, because I’m speaking in the “I.” I am absolutely one who enjoys the dating process more so than the relationship itself which is something I’m trying desperately to change because like I said, we are never happy. We are miserable trying to get the person we desire than we are miserable by how “clingy” they became when we got into the relationship. It’s an all or nothing thinking which is a terrible way to live.
I think as people we idolize things that we feel we can never attain or are attracted to qualities and characteristics we are envious of. This is why we hold athletes and movie stars on pedestals because those are professions that many of us cannot even fathom. Not everyone can be blessed with those skills. Part of our journey through this life is taking advantage of our strengths and being aware of our weaknesses. Through this we can turn ourselves into an attractive human being or figure out what we want to find attractive in that other person. Maybe you won’t be able to help what you like but by being aware of why you find certain qualities attractive can be the start of a big step in your hunt for the right person.