I was recently asked my opinions on Open Relationships and to me, these don’t exist. They always seem like a great idea and maybe to “club kids” they are. I imagine if I was going to some club like Glo or Blu (or some other word with the last letter chopped off) to meet Amanda Bynes twice a week so we can take drugs that do nothing but give us a placebo affect and sweat stains, I would want to fuck a different girl every week too.
But first of all, Molly is shit. You guys are dumb. This is why kids who grew up in the 80’s and 90’s make fun of us. I was born in 1986. I didn’t grow up in the 80’s or the 90’s and odds are if you know me, you didn’t either. Those kids did cocaine and LSD at clubs. Why don’t you dubstep supporting douchebags just man up and smoke crack? Be a man, dammit. Stop judging songs based off of how many lasers/sirens are present and maybe check out some solid guitar work or an awesome hip hop beat. You guys listen to the same music that robots masturbate to.
Or better yet, don’t smoke crack. Just learn how to have fun without some pill? However, I digress..
Saying one is in an open relationship is, in my professional opinion, retarded. Yes, that is the accepted terminology by doctors of relationships and sociology. I have to break down the definition of an open relationship before I go any further. This is Urban Dictionary’s first definition: “A relationship in which two people agree that they want to be together, but can’t exactly promise that they won’t see other people too…”
THE RAGE! HUGH SMASH!
I apologize. I just Hulk’d out for a second. How retarded does that sound? It’s like a coward’s relationship. You want to commit to someone but want zero of the responsibilities that comes with committing to someone. That’s like saying “I want to get a tattoo, but I also want to take it off from time to time.” If you aren’t adult enough to make a decision to commit to someone or something, then maybe you shouldn’t be making adult decisions. Adult decisions have consequences that can last a very long time. An open relationship is for retarded college kids that want to have their girlfriend at home and their girlfriend at the dorms and their girlfriend off campus by the bars.
I think my biggest problem for an open relationship is that usually, one person knows that they will be fucking around in their relationship pretty early on. Then the idea of an open relationship will be brought to the table in some form or the other. I’ve seen many times that the person who already knows their intentions is usually the one to shoot the idea down and then becomes the most jealous person in the world. That’s what always drives me crazy. I consider myself a “ladies’ man”…if I can settle down, your dumb ass can too. Like, don’t force me to settle down if you aren’t going to. Committing is a 50-50 thing, both parties have to meet half way. Don’t be a slut and I won’t make you regret it.
I don’t know, maybe I just don’t understand this type of thing or why it exists? I think everyone is so afraid of being hurt that they create these relationship safety nets for themselves. I can’t see the difference between this and being in a committed relationship for a few weeks/months (and not cheating) then breaking up like normal functioning adults if you find someone who tickles your fancy a tad better. The only difference is in the latter form, you must actually have to communicate feelings to another person and possibly say something that the other person might dislike which could create am awkward conversation and OH MY GOD I CAN FEEL YOU CRINGING THROUGH YOUR COMPUTER.