If there’s one thing I will never understand, it’s parents. The hardest thing about typing that sentence is I that I totally understand men and I just started to understand women so why can I not understand parents? They consist of men and women? Parents are the single most hypocritical thing on the planet. My parents are particularly the worst which is why I claim to know nothing about them.
I think a big part about a parent is pretending to care when your child tells you something but in reality you just think he’s a liar because you are used to thinking like the shitty child you were. I think most of the relationship between the parents and their child is just the parents trying to have that “A-HA! So, I WAS right!” and then the kid is like “Okay, so now what?” Then there is a stalemate where the parents are mad but they are mad at what the kid did and they don’t really understand why. They asked the question “Why did you do it?” and was met with “I don’t know, I felt like it.” and where do you go from there? No where.
On the other hand what if the kid is telling the truth? Then what? What happens when the parent has built it in their head that their kid is lying but in actuality he isn’t? Then there is just another stalemate until the parents do enough research and spying to basically alienate their child so maybe they can have that “A-HA!” moment. But then what happens? Nothing has changed except the idea of family has become shitty and every conversation becomes a trial?
What I want to explore in this post is how to deal with other people’s parents because for some reason I am surprisingly good with this. It was also something requested by a Facebook friend so let’s talk about it.
First of all, ignore this post if you are living away at school, on your own or if you are Batman and your parents are dead. If not, let’s continue without further interruption. Dealing with another person’s parents is a lot easier than dealing with your own parents for one single reason: You don’t have to see them everyday. That seems to be the key to every relationship in existence ever. Am I the king of hyperbole or what?
Actually, one more interruption…also skip this if you are truly a good person and not socially awkward at all. I like to believe that all of you are either terrible people like myself or so socially awkward you consult the internet for advice on how to deal with people. To properly deal with your girl’s parents, you have to split them up into the obvious categories of Mom and Dad. I have to state that I understand there are single parents and gay parents but in that case just consult the single category or a category twice.
Dealing with mom is pretty easy. Mom is generally going to be linked to their child’s feelings. If a child is depressed over a relationship, mom will tend to not like the person causing the depression. So for guys, simply do some cute things for your girlfriend once in a while. I feel like moms still believe in love, they are often reading romance novels or watching Rom-Coms. Moms want their daughters to find a good man who can support them. They want their daughter’s man to smile and tell a cute joke while holding their daughter’s hand in public. Inexplicably buying flowers and having date night once a week. Have a steady job and open doors for their daughter. Never say no when invited over for dinner. Love their cooking and compliment their home. Help carry in the groceries and compliment them on their appearance. Cheesy lines like “I see where your daughter gets her looks from.” Are cheesy because of how often they have actually worked.
Remember, this is probably the last generation of stay at home moms you will see. Right now, the current dating scene are the last daughters of the Suzy Homemakers. In ten years, girls bringing home a guy for the first time will probably be met with a female breadwinner or two dads. There is nothing wrong with that but a feminist breadwinner does not want to hear how well her cooking is if she just closed a multi-million dollar account. So use your instincts on that but when it comes down to it, women always like to be treated as if they can handle something on their own but you choose to help not because they need it but rather you want to.
Dads are a whole other ball game and actually the easier of the two. It will require less work. Dads require one simple thing. Respect. Respect the fact that he goes out and earns a living. There are simple things that dads will respect. A firm handshake. Sports knowledge of their favorite team. A job that requires you to earn a living. Sometimes dads also like knowledge of martial arts or at least that you know your way around a gym. Dads often believe that their daughter will be subject to some sort of Charles Bronson like scenario where a man will have to have completed some sort of marine corp training to survive and save the father’s daughter.
So yeah, that’s basically it. I would just strongly advise being a classy gentleman. Standing up when they walk in the room. A firm handshake. Saying Mr. and Mrs Whatever until they correct you to say differently. Dealing with the parents is a lot easier than the actual person you are dating because you only have to be “on” for minutes at a time. Cordial and classy. Remember your manners. No slang. Shy away from taking an opinion and you should be fine.