A weird aspect of every relationship is the sex that is had when one or both members of said relationship are alone and I don’t mean cheating…It’s something that I think a lot of people tend to forget, or maybe want to forget. Masturbation is still a pretty shameful topic, even in 2013. I think it’s something that people lie about often and you will never truly hear what people are into when the lights are dim and the door is locked.
Fetishes and fantasies are always an interesting topic in my eyes. When asked “What are you into?” the other person will almost always respond with “Uh, you first.” so you can hear what you’re up against. How embarrassing would it be if you just responded with “Gangbang bukakke blumpkin midget brazilians” and the other person is like “Oh, I like Cinemax’s soft core movies after 1am.” It’s like a game of Rock/Paper/Scissors. You always try to hesitate to catch the other person’s move before you show your hand.
Pornography is a simple concept, yet it enrages so many women who find it disgusting and immature. I have even spoken out against it because (depending on what you’re watching) you are seeing a ridiculously high expectations for how females look and act in the bedroom. Then, another side effect is the confidence shattering realization that your penis isn’t even remotely big compared to so many dudes in the movies. So there are two bad side effects to porn that you might not even think are happening but that’s some subconscious level shit. And it’s for dudes. Yikes!
A lot of the time, girls will either act like they hate porn or act like they love it. Rarely is their a middle ground. The former is actually the easier to deal with while the latter gives you false hope. A girl that is “into” porn is most likely not into any aspect of the hardcore stuff that an average dude watches. Like a girl who is “into” video games or sports. I’ve had a few girlfriends that liked to watch porn, even on their own and that made me think I could start showing them videos that I find are hot or porn stars that I like and later issues started arising.
One issue was that my girlfriend started getting extremely upset that I was even watching porn. It was okay for her and I was supposed to think that is cute but the fact that I watched it made her feel inadequate despite the very sufficient amounts of sex we were having. This, I did not understand. It’s known that all guys are sex-crazed. Just watch any dumb sitcom and watch the husband beg for sex every episode. Watch any hack-comedian do a bit about how he wishes he got laid or his girlfriend won’t put out. Men love sex, it is known. *Dothraki voice*
Even if my girlfriend was having sex with me 3 times a day, I would still go home and watch porn and jerk off and I know I’m not alone on that statement. It’s just what guys do. Most guys don’t even jerk off to porn, they just watch it for the hilarity of somethings and the horrors of others. What else are you supposed to do? Everyone isn’t really like me and actually uses the internet for research.
The second problem started arising when my girlfriend picked up that I had favorite porn stars. Then feelings of jealousy arose. Those feelings can be relationship-cancer. She felt like I was basically cheating on her with these girls that I’ve never met and probably never will meet, let alone sleep with. However, I think these are both just simple differences of men and women. We will never fully understand each other. It’s understandable for her to be mad at the fact that I’m imagining myself being intimate with someone else, let alone a consistent figure but to a guy, it’s all fantasy and imagination. It’s like if I imagined myself banging Cinderella or some other cartoon like Cameron Diaz would my girlfriend get mad at that as well? Maybe it’s the fact that my girlfriend felt that I actually had a shot with Brianna Love or Bree Olsen?
I would say in most cases that girls get jealous of porn because they in fact know that their boyfriend or significant other isn’t getting the amount of sex that he desires. I think it’s a thing that they do not want to take responsibility for and therefor found a scapegoat. On the other hand, females tend to get very hypocritical with the whole aspect of getting yourself off. Maybe it’s not from porn but the endorphins getting released in your mind from a fantasy scenario that makes you feel good or sexy may be coming from the movie Love, Actually when Hugh Grant finally kisses the fat chick. Or maybe it’s from reading the infamous 50 Shades of Grey. What is the difference if a guy is getting the same pleasure receptors satisfied from Sperms of Endearment?
In actuality, it’s the same god damned thing. A guy uses pornography to help his imagination build scenarios and fantasies in his mind that turn him on. The same exact way a woman would use a romantic novel that you buy at the airport or a Disney princess movie. Girls are using things like that to put ridiculous scenarios in their mind for how people actually deal with each other romantically. There is no difference between Prince Charming and Sasha Grey. Prince Charming will not sweep you off your feet and marry you and live happily after. Sasha Grey won’t give me a blow job if I deliver a pizza to her house.
So there you have it, women. Stop being hypocritical and jealous over something that will not ruin your relationship. If anything, pornography can enhance a relationship. It can teach you new positions. Try acting one out as the porno is playing. Spice up the sex life and keep things fresh. Don’t fight a man over his porn. You know what that will do? It will literally just make it seem even more “taboo” and he will enjoy it more. Secrets and and sneaking just make things sexier. Rather than forbid it just recognize that it is there and move on. Making a big deal over something that will never go away seems tiresome and silly.
Alright to wrap it up, I don’t really know what I was fighting for or against. I have just had a serious case of the writer’s block and I asked my comedian/facebook friends to give me some topics and this was one of them. I will apologize for the lack of writing if you will apologize for the lack of sharing my posts…