It’s been known that my favorite moment in life is when you can pinpoint the exact second that a person loses any grasp they have on reality. That face that they make when their house of cards collapses within itself like a black hole of psychosis. It’s really enjoyable to me. I pride myself on being a realist. As a realist, I see what is actually happening rather than what I want to be happening. Am I going to be a famous comedian? Will I ever find a suitable woman? Can I change the morality of Earth through a book? These are all future questions. I don’t worry about the future. I don’t worry about things that aren’t happening right now. I feel like when you live in the now, you find yourself a lot happier. You could tell me I’m going to die in 6 hours and I’ll be like “No you’re going to die” and then in 6 hours I’ll have a gun to my face and be like “Ah, god dammit. That wizard was right. Now this sci-fi film just turned into a murder mystery.”
However, there is another type of person. This type of person creates a reality that only they can see. Everything is how it should be not how it actually is. It’s an abstract viewpoint that borders on delusions of grandeur. It’s basically an illusion created by Criss Angel. Kind of like him levitating like a sissy. This is the type of person I want to talk about. No, not magicians.
Follow me through the jump.
I guess the first thing I should talk about is how to spot full-blown psychosis jump-starting a person’s motor functions. It’s very difficult to describe because I’ve never personally been there but I’ve seen it numerous times. The first thing that will go is the muscles in the face. Any remote trace of happiness leaves their body through cramping face-muscles. A look of shock and terror will come over them. It’s like you can see the person’s soul frowning.
The next thing that happens is the posture shifts from laid-back to aggressive. You just told them their world was false, what did you expect? This usually will turn me “flinchy” because this is where the punch will be thrown. If you make it to the next step, you’re pretty much in the clear, but clench that jaw and turn with the punch and you might walk away with minimal injury.
Next comes full-blown rambling. This person will probably start muttering incoherent full sentences at no one in particular. Something like “I just try and try and get nothing in return because all my hard-work is bullshit and fuck Obama and the Jews control media but here I am just trying to be a good person while you destroy the ozone. My mother was right about you.”
The next step depends on the person but this is where the tears will fall. It could be like a leaky siv or it could be a constant stream of tears. It really depends on how dearly they held this reality in their fragile, infant like fingers. It also depends on the strength of the person. Are they a man of Bear Grylls caliber? Do they like My Little Pony? How did they react at the end of the Notebook? What about American Psycho?
The last step, depends on the person again. Although it will always be one of two things. Scenario #1: They will deny this accusation that they live in a cotton candy world full of gumdrops and rose-colored windows in favor of the boring and harsh reality that is slowly setting in like some sort of melodramatic anesthesia. This is where the anger comes back (ex: I do NOT think those things! You’re just a piece of shit!), maybe deflecting or “putting the focus on you” (ex: I am NOT delusional! You don’t know what you’re talking about! You’re just an insane asshole who will never know love!) and lastly spite (ex: Well, that’s fine. I’m pregnant. And I’m keeping it because I was raised Catholic).
Or (and this is much more depressing or enjoyable…depends on how dead you are inside) Scenario #2: They will accept this new perspective on their life and now have the shattered confidence of a baby giraffe trying to walk on a frozen lake.
Now you know how to spot a mental breakdown and what to expect. The next thing I should address is how one will be caused. Take note that I am not endorsing soul crushing. You have to remember what you are dealing with. Psychosis. A loss of contact with reality. You will be intentionally turning someone unpredictable, paranoid, emotionally unstable and shocked. It’s like swimming in a barracuda tank with pockets full of LSD crossed with kicking Bruce Banner in the balls crossed with telling a toddler “No.”
I usually see these situations when someone is told “I’m not interested” or “I’m not using you for sex.” Those are the two most common scenarios. The first one is always funny because I’ve seen girls flip out and immediately think someone is gay because they don’t want to have sex with them. This is what I hear during the break down:
“Are you kidding me? YOU don’t want to have sex with ME? That’s ridiculous! What is it opposite day over here? More like Women are from Venus and Men are from Planet FAGGOT! You probably have a small dick anyway. I should set you up with my cousin. He’s gay and likes small dicks. Have fun not voting, queer. I’m an adult. I have a bachelors in liberal arts from SUNY Old Westbury. I can cook pancakes when I want. Not for you though. You’ll never taste my pancakes now.”
The second scenario isn’t as funny. This scenario is what truly shakes a woman down to her core. Girls are brought up on the fact that guys will just use them for sex. It’s practically imprinted in their DNA. I can’t deny this because there are dudes that do this. However, they are usually easy to spot. They’re usually idiots and anyone can pick them out of a douche line-up but girls are still naive and shallow and this dude probably drives an Audi and has nice abs. The second scenario is making them shatter something their mother taught them when their nipples dropped to tits. I’ll do this one from the other side:
“No. I was not using you for sex. I’ve just been entirely too lonely. That’s why I hung out with you. I didn’t want to have sex at all. I even tried not to. We fucked three times and I only came once because it was torture and my antidepressants have my brain chemicals out of whack. Also, I’m not that attracted to you, you’re just really cool. I just wanted a friend but you had one too many wine coolers and now you’re accusing me of date rape? That’s ridiculous. If you remember, I started talking to you because you knew the bartender so if anything I used you for free drinks. Then you picked me up from a bar at 2AM and I tried to watch Iron Man but you kept touching my dick. Then when I realized that your emotions were getting involved with the boring sex that we were having, I tried to break it off. Yeah. No, I literally yawned when I hit it from behind. So if anyone was getting used for sex, it was me. Well, I mean you did come more times than I did. Why are you crying? All I said was that you were a cool girl and I didn’t want to fuck you?”
That’s a jumble of conversations that I’ve literally had. Can you imagine a girl’s reaction? You basically said “The one thing that you always thought was true about men, was false with me. I’m actually a good guy and you accused me of being a scum bag when I was just trying to learn who you are as a person.” It’s a game changer. That shatters the confidence. They just had what they always wanted and lost it with pointless accusations because they were so used to that being the case in college, which is basically an orgy anyway. If you didn’t shiver just now than you don’t understand the magnitude of this situation.
I guess in closing, I’ll explain the point of all of this. My intent is to change the morality of human beings. Honestly. I’ve written about the “hidden language” of dating, the cat and mouse chase of flirting, and all of these other interpretation based events that sum up dating and I swear, I am not contradicting myself now (those old posts were to show you how to play the game, this is different). I’m just saying that people should stop doing it the other way and you should just say what you mean. Implying and interpretations are when things can get messy. Feelings get hurt. Reality is shattered to pieces.
I don’t know why, but lately I have been sick of feelings getting hurt because the expectations of both parties have been entirely too different. I know that every girl says that she wants a relationship from Day 1 and not many girls are only looking to fool around, but girls also have to realize that if the dating process doesn’t go well and the sex is bad, maybe I don’t want you to be my girlfriend? I don’t want a girlfriend that has bad sex. Guys can dump girls without being an asshole. Not every guy broke up with you because he’s an asshole. How do you get out of a situation like that? If there’s a better solution than telling the truth (like, “Listen, I’m just not feeling this. I think we should go separate ways)…I’d love to hear it.