Listen guys, I’m all for an asshole trying to get a leg up in the race by calling other dudes assholes. I’m all for it…in the private sector. When you come out publicly and blow up every man’s spot by saying shit on TV or your website or radio or whatever; that’s just a dick move.
More after the jump.
Greg Behrendt is a comedian, actor and 65-year-old man who dresses like he’s 20. His best joke is about Vampire Weekend. Greg Behrendt is a self loathing man. Or the biggest money-grubbing whore out there.
The more I look into his life, the more I hate this fucking guy. Originally this article was just because of a quote I found but now I figured out he committed the ultimate sin against man. He co-authored He’s Just Not That Into You.
Here’s the quote:
“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fucking phone call.”
I have so many issues with this that my head is going to track Behrendt down like a heat seeking missile and then explode when it finds his goofy ass just so I can soak him in the blood of a real man.
A quote like this comes from a guy who isn’t busy. Who has never been busy. Or never will be busy. I recall a time when I worked 106 hours in a week at my day job. Went to school 3 times that week and also performed on 5 stand up comedy shows. Of course I was on a whole mess of [RADIO EDIT] but still. I had to do that. I had to get through that. My job didn’t like it if I was making personal calls, for christ’s sake. Did I need a girl complaining about being called that week? I think that’s a little much with the other 3 things that are more of a means to an end rather than a relationship that could fail at any given moment due to poor advice, so ladies…it’s not that we don’t love you. It’s just that we’re sensible. We realize that a career is better to have than a woman because women flock to careers.
Scenario 2: Most people know what I’m going through right now if you know me personally. If you know the whole story and are complaining about me not being emotionally available, well compare the issue to what I’m going through and give yourself an unbiased outlook on what’s going on. Sometimes I’m not worrying about other people’s emotions when mine are a fucking mess.
There’s been time where I was sleeping 1-2 hours a day in my car because I had nowhere to go or was due at another place in a few hours. Hearing a phone ring while you’re trying to sleep for the only hour that you might get to yourself that day is mortifying.
I’m not saying guys shouldn’t call their girlfriends. I’m not saying be emotionally unavailable either. I’m just saying assholes shouldn’t make quotes like that because it’s a loaded statement with lot’s of gray area.
Plus, he co-wrote that shitty book. Every time I’ve done something wrong in a relationship, a girl has quoted that book to me and then I went out and burned down an orphanage.
So for the love of Christ, please stop selling each other out. It’s not worth it. You make a quick buck and then I see a dumb quote on Facebook from some girl who is being ignored by some asshole and then the idea and the doubt spreads like wildfire and eventually it will mess up something that I have. And really, I just care about myself. Ask any girl I’ve slept with.