Since the New Year’s my self-reflection has kept me out of life-participation. The only things I have been doing is performing stand up comedy. And my mood has reflected my act. After my set at the Comic Strip last night, many comics said “Dude, you’re way too dark.”
I think a big issue for me is that I only accept the love that I think I deserve. Which in actuality is very little to none. It’s been said that Hugh Murray has never had a faithful girlfriend. It’s also been said that I’ve tossed many-a-girl aside in favor for a hotter sluttier girl. Whoops.
I’m about to drop some more information from something that I have read. I don’t want to always hear an awesome thing someone else created and then reflect on it and then post it, but a wise girl quoted Chuck Palahniuk to me today and said “Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I have ever known.”
So fuck it. Thanks, Jules.
Last night, I was reading a book that I’ve read over 10 times since the turn of the millennium. “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky. It’s a great book about a kid named Charlie who starts high school and meets two seniors named Patrick and Samantha (or Sam) who are sibling in-laws when their mom and dad married. Charlie is an emotional character. He is super weird to the untrained eye. Charlie actually gives some stellar advice to the person he is sending letters to. See, Charlie loves Sam. Sam tells Charlie that he shouldn’t think of her in that way but Charlie can’t resist. Sam goes after the “cut and hunky” Craig who is a male model. Craig also likes to pretend he’s a photographer. Craig takes a picture of Sam and thinks it’s beautiful because of the way he takes it, but Charlie knows that the picture is beautiful because Sam is in it.
Earlier in the book, Charlie gets some sage advice from his chum Patrick (who is gay) but it is sage none the less. Patrick says that dating is NOT like the movies. Girls do NOT want a guy who is a dick. They just like someone who can give them a purpose. Girls like guys to be a challenge. It gives them some mold to fit in how they act. Like a mom.
I’m pretty sure I paraphrased that so I’ll save the punctuation for your mother. What?
This is often a common misconception. Girls don’t like me because I’m an asshole. They like me because they see a project. They see potential for greatness and they want to change me. The sad part is often, I do change to meet the standards of m’lady and I then become old news. The woman then becomes bored.
This is the ultimate paradox.
A lot of people say that and use that as an excuse as to why they are single, and those people are usually not the person that girls are trying to change. They are just boring. You will probably just have to take my word that an athletic, comedian, lady-killer addict isn’t very boring. Unless you know me and then you know my life is very un-boring, non-boring. Google my fucking name and see how interesting the NY Post finds me.
Have you ever heard the phrase “Be yourself” when asking people for help with women? This is why people say that. Throw yourself out there and let her decide if she can handle your personality, want to change you or think she wants no part of you. Don’t be afraid to fail. Especially because the last two of those three options are NOT for you, dumb dumb.
If only I could take my own advice.
Never base a relationship off of a fake personality that you give a woman. It’ll never work. Johnny Depp can’t even stay in character for 35 years. Robert Downey Jr could, but you’re not him. You’ve never went black face and almost won an Oscar.
I’m scared to be alone and I’m also afraid of rejection so in this lies my problem with women. My internal struggles are another paradox. And if you’re wondering, yes I just learned this word.
I also tend to expect women to show me how awesome they are. “Spit gold” if you will..If you never expect too much you won’t be let down. Wasn’t that from the Gin Blossoms? God dammit. I can’t stop using other people’s words!
Enough tangents, let’s wrap this up. On a first date you should be looking for key signs on how shallow, dumb, slutty or fake they are. The Big 4. Or really the big 1. The latter is the only one that I’ve never tolerated. The first three have been pushed aside by beauty. Every boy is tricked a few times. A man eventually learns from his mistakes.
Learn from mine.